


Drop

by wirewrappedlily



Series: Bones Saves the Universe [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, F/M, Jim gets transported into being five, M/M, but retains all his memories, which isn't as good as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-19
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wirewrappedlily/pseuds/wirewrappedlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He's dead, Jim." Leonard McCoy intoned, and his fiancée getting between him and his prey was just enough of an obstacle to allow the Scotsman to start running. </p><p>"Bones, he didn't mean to." Jim Kirk told him. From the vicinity of Bones's knees. "I don't feel good, Bones."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

"He's dead, Jim." Leonard McCoy intoned, and his fiancée getting between him and his prey was just enough of an obstacle to allow the Scotsman to start running. 

"Bones, he didn't mean to." Jim Kirk told him. From the vicinity of Bones's knees. "I don't feel good, Bones." 

Leonard looked down at the five-year-old James T. Kirk that had been transported back from a small planetoid and turned into a five-year-old from his fully-grown, about-to-be-married self. Jim raised his arms to Leonard, his big blue eyes huge and his forehead wrinkled worryingly. Leonard sighed, reaching down and scooping him up, easily carrying him off the transporter pad where Sulu and Spock, both in perfectly fully-grown condition, were staring at the captain in shock. "Tell me how you don't feel good, darlin'." 

Jim tucked his miniaturized face in Leonard's neck, in the spot that Jim migrated into nuzzling every chance he got. "Feel sick to my stomach..." He muttered, little hands coming up to wrap themselves in as much uniform as he could get a grip on. Bones didn't mention that his forehead against Bones's neck felt feverish; nor did he go into cursing a blue streak that not only was Jim getting sick, but he was transported into being a little one and getting sick. "I was sick a lot when I was little." Jim warned, and McCoy started running through the mental gamut of his curse words. 

"Well, sweetheart, we'll get you down to Med Bay and take care of you." Leonard rubbed Jim's back with a hand that suddenly felt five times too big, making his way through the thankfully empty corridor. "I'll take care of you, Jim." 

"Kirk to Scott. Scotty, any idea what's made me small?" Jim commed, his head still nestled in Leonard's neck. 

"Aye, some. The ion storm we passed through last week...'s messed about with the transporters, but only on the one part o' the pad. Gettin' you down there wasn't a trouble: bringin' ya back up caused the problem."

"Get it fixed, man!" Leonard ordered, and Kirk looked up at him, soft and sweet-faced. Leonard kissed his cheek before setting Kirk down on a biobed and signing off with Scott. 

Nurse Chapel seemed to be in shock, staring at the little guy for a full minute before McCoy's scowl snapped her out of it. 

Bustling over, she ran a tricorder over Jim while Leonard pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down, taking his little hand. "Heightened temperature, and his blood pressure is lower than it has been in a year."

Leonard cocked a brow at that, standing up and picking Jim up off the biobed, sitting on it with Jim on his lap, wrapped around him. Jim smiled, snuggling into Leonard, and Nurse Chapel sighed, shaking her head as she bustled away to prepare a hypo. 

Jim closed his eyes, rubbing his head against Leonard's chest, tired and snuggly. "You sleep, sweetheart." Leonard urged, his voice going into the deep, rumbling Southern drawl that usually made Jim's heart beat faster. "I love you, an' I'll be right here." 

"Love you, too." Jim murmured, clinging to Leonard's shirt front as Leonard eased them to be lying down on the biobed, Jim on his chest. Jim yawned once, and he was out; staying out as Nurse Chapel handed McCoy the hypo to administer to the little one. Bones sighed, covering Jim's back with his hand again and glaring Spock into silence as he came into the Medical Bay. 

Unfortunately, Bones didn't have the power to glare forcefully enough to keep him silent for long, "Doctor, would it not be more prudent to be analysing the captain's condition yourself?" 

"I can't be working the case, and I won't be on shift until this is sorted out. We don't know what else could happen to him, and until Jim's back to his full-grown and annoying self, I'll be taking care of him." 

"I understand that your emotional ties to the captain would compromise your treatment--" 

"Spock, it has never compromised Jim's treatment." Leonard cut him off, voice gruff, and Jim stirred on his chest before he soothed him again. Leonard picked up his hand, pressing kisses to his tiny fingers, "I'm not taking the case because I need to be with him more than I need to do what Chapel can easily do herself." 

"You are presuming that the Captain will not be in control of his emotions." 

"He's currently five, Spock, even if he can control his emotions, I'd rather be with him than running bloodwork. For the sake of my own emotions, I need to stick with him to make sure nothing else goes wrong." 

"...I understand." Spock told him after a long moment, and Leonard bit back the tirade that he seriously doubted that, but appreciated Spock's damn approval on the matter. 

"Is there something I can do for you?" Leonard hissed when Spock didn't leave. "You have a ship to command." 

"I am currently off-duty, as the shift has changed. I intended on checking in upon the captain and discussing with him a plan of action until he is returned to his full-grown state."

"While he does have his memories and his mental faculties, Spock, I think that's something you can take care of yourself." The Vulcan ticked an eyebrow upwards, and McCoy resisted the urge to roll his eyes if only for the fact that Jim wouldn't be happy if Spock and Leonard got themselves into a fight. Jim stirred slightly, and Leonard looked down, catching sight of the wrinkled brow and distorted features that he'd come to know on the older face of the man he loved: Jim was having a nightmare, and there was a chance that if it got any worse, it would turn into a full-blown night terror. 

In the two and a half years they'd been back in the black, Jim hadn't had so violent a night terror as the ones he'd experienced after first waking up from being dead; and he hadn't had one in so public a place as medical ever. Leonard forced himself to calm down, hoping foolishly that his heart would slow to a calm rhythm from having gotten angry at Spock. 

"When he wakes, I'll comm you. In the mean time, Commander, please leave." McCoy muttered through nearly unmoving lips, completely focussed on Jim as he said it. 

"Doctor--" 

"Spock, I've got a five-year-old on my hands with the memories of James T. Kirk and the sleep cycle of the same blasted idiot. Now, I can't quote him on what his wishes would be in this situation, but I'm fairly certain that the captain would not like his privacy compromised so far as to have you bear witness to a night terror, or to my calming him from a night terror. If you don't need medical help, get out of my Med Bay." 

Jim began to shift, and McCoy cursed under his breath with the knowledge that Jim was having a bad one. Whimpering, Jim thrashed slightly, and McCoy had to debate for a moment before deciding what to do to help him. 

Fully-grown, Jim reacted best to Leonard running his hands through the short, dark-blond hair on the back of his head; their legs tangled together, with Jim's face tucked into his neck as it usually was. It was a non-threatening position, because Jim could get out of it at any time, he wasn't trapped in any way by the way Leonard would hold him. 

The problem now was that Leonard was so much bigger than he, it was like most of what Leonard would do could make the little one feel like he was trapped under Leonard's hands. It made Leonard feel almost helpless, not being able to help Jim. 

He pulled Jim up slightly, carefully, tucking his face into the spot on his neck, and covering one of Jim's hands with his, his brain wracking to remember something that would help. "It's okay, darlin': I've got you. Your Bones is right here, and I'm never gonna let you go. I love you, darlin', everything's alright. You're safe in my arms. I'm right here. C'mon, now, sweetheart: rest, you need it." 

He focussed on keeping his breathing deep and even, closing his eyes and hoping as Jim flinched in his arms and then went boneless. 

"That's it, darlin'. I love you more than air," Leonard kissed Jim's chubby cheek, idle thoughts of a child that looked like Jim running through his head, "you're safe with me. You're always safe with me." 

Jim tensed again, whimpering, and Leonard tried to hush him. Jim nearly threw himself off of the biobed and Leonard as he suddenly leapt to get himself over the side, retching messily to the floor. 

"Oh, darlin'..." Bones muttered, shifting and getting himself upright to pat the little one on the back. 

"Tommy..." Jim sobbed, and McCoy's heart seized, his hands trembling as he rubbed Jim's small back, taking a towel from Nurse Chapel as she bustled over, cleaning Jim up carefully. "Kevin and Tommy..." He cried, shaking, and Leonard wanted to curse worse than Hell onto every contributing factor that had put Jim Kirk on Tarsus IV. 

"They're alright, sweetheart. So are you. You're safe with me." Leonard urged, kissing his hair again. "You saved 'em, Jim. You save most everyone." 

"No, I don't." Jim told him, voice small, "I couldn't stop Khan..." Breath hiccoughing in his throat, Jim started to get worked into a panic attack, and Bones couldn't stop himself from fluttering uselessly for a moment before he just pulled the boy in, hugging him like he could stop his thoughts. 

"You saved the ship and everyone on it, Jim Kirk. You gave your life so that others could live. Just like your daddy did. He'd be so proud of you, darlin'. You saved my life with everyone else's, and I wanted to kill you for it 'til I figured out how to save you. I love you that much." 

Jim wrapped small arms around his neck, and pressed wet eyelashes into his throat. "I couldn't live without you, either, Bones." He told him, so small and sweet and fragile that McCoy's heart broke all over again, the little body hugged against his barely enough to stop the panic from swelling in his chest anyway. "You're the only one who takes care of me." 

"I'll always take care of you, darlin'. Always. We're gettin' married when you get big again, Jim. Just as soon as if I have any say in it. I don' wanna waste another damn second." 

Jim nodded his head in Bones's neck, his hands fisted in Bones's uniform. 

"Nurse Chapel's gonna run some tests with the tricorder, darlin', an' I'll be back in a minute, I'm gonna get you somethin' easy on your stomach, okay?" Jim shook his head viciously, face buried in Leonard's skin. "Why not, darlin'?" 

"Don't leave me." Jim muffled into Leonard's shoulder, and unintelligible keening to anyone else; but clear as day to Leonard McCoy. 

"Jim, sweetheart, leavin' you would be like givin' up air. I can't do it, sweetheart; it's not just that I won't." Leonard explained, his voice going steadily further into the Southern drawl with every word he said to the little one. He coaxed Jim out of his throat, looking him in the eye. He held up his ring finger, "You see this finger, Jim? My ring finger isn't going to just have a ring when we get married: I'd tattoo it with your name to make sure you knew I'd never leave you." 

"Indelible ink." Jim muttered, looking up at Bones's eyes from studying the finger in question, "'M glad we don't have rings yet. My fingers've shrunk." 

Bones laughed softly, taking Jim's little hand and kissing the backs of his fingers, "You're gonna let Chapel run her tests, okay, sweetheart? She's cleaned up your puke, it's the least you can do. And I'll be right back before she's even done, and I'll have somethin' to feed you, okay? Something you like, I'll even forego vegetables just this once." 

"Am I dying?" Jim asked, and Bones cracked up like he was meant to, rolling his eyes. 

"We've agreed, darlin'; you don't get to die again 'til you're old and grey." 

"You're just trying to add years to my sentence." Jim gestured to himself, smiling impishly, and in that moment, McCoy knew he couldn't father a child that looked like Jim, if only for the fact that the child would _own him_ to his very core. 

"As many as I can, brat." Leonard agreed, kissing Jim's forehead and letting Nurse Chapel slide forward as he slid off the bed to go get the young genius food. He was fully out of earshot before he tapped his comm, "McCoy to Scott." 

"I've worked out most of it, but I jus' wanta do a few more tests, doc. We'll have the wee laddy back to the Bridge before ye can say dinglesnooters." 

"...Thanks, Scott. Sorry for..." 

"Aye, 's alright. I reckon I'd be a sight worse if I'd transported me fair Gaila and she came out a wee one." 

"Soon as you can, Scotty, I'd appreciate it. McCoy out." It wasn't three seconds until Leonard's comm was bleeping, and he had a sinking feeling that just couldn't bode well. "McCoy..." 

"Doctor...you're needed on the Bridge." Uhura told him, her voice odd. Leonard took off at a run, the familiar path coloured with things that could go wrong without Jim there; things that Jim could have been there for if he wasn't so small and fragile in a biobed just that moment. Uhura and Spock were both waiting for him when he got there, neither looking at all happy about the situation as Leonard was ushered into the Ready Room instead of the Bridge. 

"What's going on here?" Leonard demanded. 

"Doctor...you should sit down." 

"I'm a doctor, not a damsel, you green-blooded hobgoblin: tell me what you've _summoned_ me here to tell me!" 

Uhura looked pale, her hands fluttering, and it was almost enough to make the nerves in Leonard's heart go into disastrous overdrive. "Len...We got a communique from Planet Q...From Thomas Leighton," it turned out McCoy did want to sit down, "he's called with...with the suspicion that Kodos the Executioner is, in fact, still alive...and living free, currently visiting Planet Q as an actor." 

Leonard couldn't say why he was laughing, but from the looks on Uhura and Spock's features, he seemed to be having some sort of break. "You're...telling me...that the _bastard_ of a cock-loving whore...that caused the worst part... _the worst part_ of Jim's past...is still alive. And living as--as an actor?" 

"Mr. Leighton, like the Captain, is one of the few who can identify Kodos: who've seen his face. And he would not make this accusation lightly, as I would not take it lightly. I have set a course for Planet Q--" 

"Spock, you're setting a course down the worst part of Kirk's life, here, and he's just a kid! He's a five-year-old boy right now, and he has about as much control over his memories as a five-year-old would have! He's seen more pain and suffering than any, Spock; and he's carrying thirty years of pain around in a five-year-old shell. Do you really want to break him like this?" 

"If the man is, indeed, Kodos...wouldn't you rather he be put away, forever, than to have him always out there, Len? What would Kirk want--" 

"I don't give a good goddamn about what Jim would want here, Ny, I know him! He'd go into this headlong and it would hurt him in ways that I can't reach with a regen, and do you really think it's worth the pain you'd put him through to do this?" 

"It would put the ghost...of Kodos to rest." Uhura told him slowly. "Jim doesn't like unanswered questions, Len. And this is a big one." 

Leonard looked at both of them, scowling them down, "Jim _absolutely_ doesn't find out about this until he's big, do you hear me?! And if he never finds out about this, as far as I'm concerned, it'll be too damn soon!"


	2. He Did Not Choose Me

Admittedly, getting Jim the cookie approximately the size of Jim's head was overkill. 

Bright blue eyes narrowed suspiciously up at him, "What's going on?" 

"N--" 

"Don't even think about lying to me, Bones; there's a reason you can't win at strip poker. What's going on?" 

Bones's features twisted at the reminder from a five-year-old, and he shook his head, aiming to distract. 

"Bones, I'm serious! I'll find out one way or another, you can't stop me." 

Bones raised both brows, his arms crossing over his chest as he huffed out a hard breath, "We're headed to Planet Q, Jim." 

"Why?" Jim looked confused, obviously wracking his brain for a connection to Planet Q. 

"We were hailed by one of the citizens there. He's an old friend, and--" 

"Bones." Jim's voice was a warning. "Tell me all of it." 

"I'm not going against my own damn orders to keep you out of it 'til you get bigger, Jim, so you'll just have to wait until you're my height before pulling the captain-voice out on me." 

"It's got to do with something you want to protect me from...Is it Khan?" Jim watched him, "No...Is it the Admiralty? The Klingons? Is there...Did being turned little...affect the serum?"

"No! God, no." Bones breathed, jerking forward just to touch Jim, like he could push the thought away. "Please, Jim. Not yet. Just wait 'til Scotty gets you big, and then you can know, but right now...right now, you and I can go and do something together, if you feel well enough. We can go watch holovids or annoy Chekov and Sulu or just stick together here and catch up on the sleep I'm well aware you haven't been getting. For now, you're not the captain, and the world isn't in your hands. We'll face responsibility when you're of legal age." 

"Bones, just because I'm...little...if they need you--" 

"Then we'll call him, Captain." Chapel told him primly. "We can handle a few shifts with the Doctor on call." 

Jim scowled slightly, but reached imperiously for Bones to pick him up, and Leonard laughed at that, but picked him up anyway. "Uhura's on the Bridge, I don't want to get run into." Jim explained, "I figure having one of her knees on level with my nose would end badly." 

"Mmm, good point." McCoy hummed, trying not to laugh. He secured his grip on Jim, waving to Nurse Chapel as he carefully walked them out of the room. Nyota Uhura was known for actually, literally running headlong into things, and if you were stupid enough not to get out of her way, she'd bowl you right over. True, it wasn't often that Nyota needed to sprint from the Bridge to anywhere, but it was also not often that they were captainless, headed for a situation the Bridge crew knew Leonard wouldn't like and Kirk needed protection from, so it was fair to get Jim out of the line of fire. 

Jim was quiet, which was always a cause of concern for Leonard; and pouting, which was even worse of an omen. "Bones, our next shore leave is two weeks away...we should go back to Earth." Leonard looked at him, "We've been engaged for six months..." 

"You want to get married in two weeks' time?" 

"Well...I wanna meet your mom first, but...all I need is the crew and Joanna, Bones, and that's my family. Sam can comm in any time. I didn't even get an invite to his wedding with Aurelea. Admittedly, I was going to trial for boosting a car, but--" 

"Whoa, Jim...first off, you're five right now--" 

"That's just one year younger than you were when I was born." Jim babbled abstractedly, "And I can still plan a wedding from this height, it's not that hard." 

"Oh? And what kind of weddin' are we having here? Two weeks speaks of elopement, but you're talkin' about plans, darlin'. You're a miracle worker, sure, Jim; but if you want to plan a weddin' right, you need _time_." 

"Do you need a dress, Bones? No? Good, 'cause I don't either, so there goes that. I'm gonna wear the formal whites; you'd look lickable in a tux--hell, you could even get married to me in scrubs, I don't care, so long as it's _you_. Oh, look, we've already got that part picked. We can do it in Georgia or in Golden Gate Park, either way the flowers take care of themselves along with the venue--" 

"Catering, the bar, music, reception--"

"Please, the bar would be taken care of by Scotty in a heartbeat. Music could probably be done by Chekov, just give him a playlist to make and poof. Catering we'd have to take care of when we got back, but I doubt it'd take long, and reception--" 

"Jim, two weeks, even for you, is not enough time for a planned wedding. So let's elope when you get big, as soon as you get big." 

"I want to, Bones, but I can't do that to Jo!" Jim subsided into quiet as they entered Engineering, thoughtful as he observed the chaos with absent blue eyes. "What if...what if we got married when I get big, but save the show until we get back for leave?" 

"Aye, that sounds like a shotgun wedding made for the madly in love." Scotty chuckled to himself, walking up with a hesitance in his step that Leonard knew couldn't mean something good. 

"What's the prognosis?" 

"I cannae get you changed back jus' yet! We had a bit o' a malfunction on that front: it sped up agin' and wouldn't stop. So, we're close, but...we need time." 

"Is the transporter at least safe for use?" Jim asked, sounding like his older self in everything but pitch. 

"Aye, that it is! But in the meantime, I asked Gaila for some help ta make you a wee bit more comfortable, and she's got some clothes that will fit, just 'til we get you back again." 

"How long are we talking, Scott?" Leonard hissed, his hackles rising at the shift engineer as the man spun plans that made it seem like Jim's recovery would take days or longer. 

"Ah...'bout five days, sir. We gotta make sure the re-agin' process doesn't continue past the point he was at to begin with, 's a wee bit touchy." 

Jim nodded understandingly, throwing a look to Bones, "It's either they take their time, Bones, or I become old and grey rather ahead of your schedule." Jim pointed out. "Notice how I'm not demanding to immediately be big again, choosing the safe route instead of the one that will allow me to do things like be captain and your fiancée." Quirking an eyebrow, Jim pursed his lips, and McCoy sighed through his nose, rolling his eyes. 

"Just...go as fast as you can, Scott. I'd like to have my idiot back to being big enough that I can smack him upside the head without it being considered child abuse." Scotty was fighting against his smile as he agreed whole-heartedly, "No, Jim, I'm not letting you tinker with anything that could explode. You're small enough for me to pick you up; this may be the only time in all the years of suffering through knowing you that I have the chance to actually stop you from blowing yourself up." 

"Kidnapping! Stranger danger! Help, I don't know who the tall mean man is! Put me down!" Jim started sardonically, looking up at McCoy with an expression of pure irony. 

Scotty was laughing now, waving his people back to work as they curiously looked 'round. 

"You're no fun, Bones. I'm finally Keenser's size, I can _fit_ in--" 

"No." Leonard cut him off smoothly, not even putting much force behind it; he had Jim stuck on his hip, so he didn't need to. 

Jim pouted, putting his head down against Leonard's shoulder, "Fine, pony: take me to the Bridge, Uhura and Chekov are gonna _melt_." 

"Yer not to be seein' Gaila 'til you're big again, please. We'd run the risk of actual kidnapping and ye never getting big again." Scotty inserted before McCoy could think of any reply to the pony comment. 

"I'm small and perfect and adorable, it's true." 

Leonard groaned, shaking his head as he turned around and walked out of Engineering, headed for the Bridge before he could think better of it. Jim was grinning wildly at him, his blue eyes huge and mischievous. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Okay." Jim muttered, pressing his tiny face into McCoy's throat, cuddling into him. 

"I have a daughter, Jim; if you think you can melt _me_ , you have another thing comin'." 

"Joanna's adorable, but is she really cuter than me?" 

"Yes." 

Jim extracted himself from McCoy's neck as the turbolift deposited them on the Bridge, and he twisted in Leonard's arms to grin at Nyota like a little demon. Chekov could be heard making a faint squealing noise as Jim wriggled out of Leonard's arms with terrifying efficiency, dropping to the floor to run over to Nyota. 

"Oh, my god..." Nyota groaned, dropping her face in her palm, "Leonard, get him out of here." She muffled, shooing Jim without taking her head out of her hand. 

"But, Ny!" Jim whined, grinning toothily as he set his chin on her leg. 

"Okay, I give: you're adorable, now get off the Bridge and go wreak havoc somewhere else!" Nyota pretended to sob. "Leonard, I can't believe you agreed to this." 

"He's my pony, he goes where I tell him." 

"You're _five_ and I can still hear you making a dirty joke about that..." Nyota groaned, slumping in her chair with such a huge grin hidden under her hand that there was no way to really deter him now. 

"Captain," Spock intoned, and Jim rolled his eyes. 

"Spock, I'm barely two feet tall, I'm Jim. Now, why are we going to Planet Q?" 

Jim turned away from Nyota, but didn't turn to Spock, walking to Leonard instead. Leonard threw a look at Spock, hard-eyed and stony, even as he picked Jim back up. Jim put his head under Leonard's chin, looking over at Spock from his hideaway, expectant. 

"I know that the hail we received was from Thomas Leighton." Uhura swore violently, turning her head back to her station to take in that Jim had been playing her, reading what she'd had up. "So I can only assume it's got to do with...with Tarsus IV. Tell me what's going on. I think I've proven that I can handle knowing, even at this height." 

Bones's grip on Jim tightened, his features furious as he whirled around, ready to tear Jim a new one as he stormed back to the turbolift. 

Jim took about five seconds longer to wriggle out of his grip than he had the first time, looking up at Bones with angry, hard eyes. "Tell me, or so help me, I'll retake command with a fever and the body of a five-year-old. What is going on?" 

Bones turned his head to Spock, looking him in the eye, then proceeded to step around Jim and into the turbolift, his arms crossed over his chest once he pressed in for Med Bay. Jim watched him go, looking sad, but not apologetic. 

Muttering curses under his breath, Leonard swept out of the lift once he got to the proper deck, just barely beating a small wave of Engineering injuries in getting there. 

Chapel raised an eyebrow at him, but McCoy ignored it, busying himself with berating the fools that apparently didn't know how to safely be engineers. 

"Leonard," She called softly, two hours later, "you might want to check on the Captain. Make sure his fever's in a managible--" 

"Computer, locate Captain James T. Kirk." Leonard cut her off. When the computer replied that he was in their quarters, Leonard gestured to the empty air, "Feel free to go check on him, Nurse Chapel." 

"I understand that he did something you don't want, Len, but he's the captain, and while you're absolutely right that he's small and very breakable right now, it's also kind of miraculous that he's not completely ignoring protocol and being captain, or running around in Jefferies tubes while he's small enough to reach the tighter-spaced interfaces that Keenser's the only one who can get to. He loves you enough that even you can't argue that this isn't something he's doing for you, because honestly, Leonard, before you and he began, that would be exactly what he'd be up to."

"Nurse Chapel--" 

"You're the one with the psychology degree, Len, but someone has to shrink your head, too. Go check on the captain where he is being good and resting in your quarters: your shift's an hour over anyway." 

Leonard stared at her for a long, silent moment. "Have I ever been your commanding officer?" 

"Not really, but you don't need to be. Now, shoo."


	3. Where Did the Party Go?

Never had Leonard expected what he found in his quarters. 

Jim was asleep between Hikaru and Chekov, Uhura sitting on a chair opposite the couch as she told them a story in Ancient Greek. Jim was snugged up in a pair of footie pyjamas with a sehlat on the front, and he was cuddling with a suspiciously familiar plush of the Enterprise. 

Nyota held a finger to her lips as she continued the story, like it'd wake Jim if she stopped, and Hikaru smiled at him happily, both he and Chekov waving. Jim shifted between them, humming quietly, and they looked at one another for a moment of silent communication as Jim curled up, his head dropping from Sulu's arm to rest on his thigh, Jim's lashes fluttering as he dreamed on. 

Nyota fell silent, and they all seemed to hold their breath for a moment before relaxing. 

"He's a surprisingly light sleeper for how he zonks out at his proper age." Nyota told Leonard softly, her voice the same tone and pitch as she'd used during the story. Jim inhaled shakily, like he was about to wake up, but Chekov hushed him, rubbing a hand through his hair before he could come to full consciousness. 

"Why...?"

"I got off-sheeft almost immedwiately after you leeft, sir. So I brwought him here." 

"He was too short to reach the turbolift buttons," Sulu explained, "Pavel and he were here until Uhura and I got off shift, and we brought food...we wanted to call you, but he told us not to, that you needed time to cool down. He saved you a plate, though. Then Scotty brought up some clothes that fit him and he requested Uhura tell him Greek myths in Ancient Greek, which he's been surfacing and falling under for for about a half hour." 

"Thank you for taking--" 

"Oh, no, Len; he could've taken care of himself, easy. This was more for us than it was for him." Uhura cut him off, laughing quietly. "He's still Kirk through and through." 

"He knows what hees crew needs." Pavel agreed, carefully easing the Enterprise plush a little further from suffocation-range. 

Leonard swallowed, his jaw working. "Pavel?" Uhura requested quietly, looking for all the world like she was steeling herself. Pavel got up and picked Jim up with him, soothing carefully as he moved for the bedroom to put him to bed as Hikaru and Uhura turned their full attention to Leonard, "I know that you think he did something--" 

"No, Nyota, you don't. He's five years old right now, dammit; it doesn't matter that he's got the mind of Jim at this age. He's not prepared to deal with the mind of Jim at this age; with the memories, or the way these things makes him feel. You know how I know? Because he's having nightmares that wake him up getting sick to his stomach! Sure, it's not the worst way Jim Kirk can think of to push himself, but it's still pushing." 

"Leonard, you're the one who appears not to get it! Jim's not pushing! He's keeping up. He needs to know what we're walking into, because if he's kept out of the loop, bad shit will go down!" Hikaru was on his feet, fists clenched, "He, especially, deserves to know what he's getting into! We all want and need to take care of him, but it's always been the biggest part of him to take care of _us_. If he doesn't know what's going on, he's left helpless as we are, and that's something the captain of the Enterprise can never be. You know that better than any of us." 

Leonard flinched at the meaning; the memory of Jim's face after he'd come out of the short coma the cure for Xeno had put him into painful enough as it was. Jim _never_ allowed himself to be helpless: not when the ship was falling, and not when Starfleet would've taken them both; not when faced with Spock or Leonard's deaths, and not for a second in endeavouring to stop them from happening. Leonard knew this, he did. 

"Forgive him for this, Len." Uhura urged quietly. 

"I-I do. I do...I just wish..." 

"I think that's the cost of choosing him." Uhura murmured, "You're always gonna wish." 

Nyota gave him a kiss on the cheek as Hikaru slipped past to collect Pavel and head on their way, leaving Bones with the quietly sleeping little stubborn ass he'd pledged his heart to. Sighing, Leonard dropped onto the couch, pulling up rain sounds that Jim didn't know he used to calm himself when Jim was not around, and closing his eyes. In his mind's eye, it was raining in Georgia, and he was sitting on the porch of his family home, head back and eyes closed as the softly falling water tore through the heat of his hometown. A craving that was nearly ever-present for sweet tea and a home-cooked meal reared its ugly head, and he allowed himself to remember those things; imagine what it'd be like taking Jim home. 

He didn't miss Jocelyn; hadn't for a long time, Jim filling up those spaces of his life that would've fallen into the familiar ground of it before Leonard knew what was happening to himself. Even before being together, Jim had pushed Jocelyn out, slowly but surely; replacing her with claps on the back and a wicked grin, with study sessions that had him nearly beating Jim to death with a textbook for being a damn know-it-all, and with easy friendship that Leonard had steeled himself against and totally crumbled to with every passing day that Jim didn't just get bored of the curmudgeonly old bastard grumbling his way through Starfleet. Jim had got him through it; had cajoled and tricked and pushed Leonard through his fear of flying, then into easing his fear of transporters, then into loving the life he'd built flying around having his sorry cells rearranged. 

But, in these moments in his mind's eye, with quiet dark and rain that made him ache for terra; Leonard McCoy did miss the home he'd had with Jocelyn. The house with the wrap around porch and stables in the back; with creaks and groans that made it feel like a home that was well-loved. He wanted that home back, with the right person beside him this time: someone who never got tired of him, or got frustrated that he loved his job, or jealous that he spent too much time working and not enough picking draperies or worrying about--

Leonard's arm lifted with the little hand wrapped around it, a sleep-warm Jim shifting under his arm, laying against his side, and Leonard immediately hugged him close, pulling him even further in and pressing a kiss to his hair. "I'm sorry." Jim mumbled, rubbing his face against Leonard's bristly jaw tiredly. 

"It's alright, darlin'. Go back to sleep." 

Jim snuffled in Leonard's neck, then sighed every stitch of tension out of his little body. For as much as Leonard knew he should get up, put them both to bed before the warm little bundle that was Jim put him out right there on the couch, he didn't want to move from that spot; from the quiet, sleepy perfection that was cuddling with Jim on the couch in their shared quarters. "Did you eat?" Jim asked groggily, rousing himself too much for Leonard's liking. 

"No, I didn't, but you go back to sleep now; I'll eat in a bit." He wasn't even hungry, the precious pull of the moment anchoring him right where he was. 

"I...I don't want to sleep without you." Jim admitted, "So eat." 

Leonard pressed another kiss to the top of his head, cradling him close, "I'm not goin' anywhere, sweetheart." 

"You need to take care of yourself, Bonesy." 

Leonard shook his head, rolling his eyes, "Not what I meant." 

"I love you. I am sorry, but--" 

"I understand, Jim, as much as I don't like it. You need to make sure we're safe." 

Jim's grip on him tightened as much as his little arms could, and Bones's heart ached. "I don't want him to be alive." 

"Neither do I, darlin'." Bones whispered. "I feel sick thinkin' about it." 

"If it is him...what am I gonna do, Bones? How do I deal with this? I want him dead, but he should stand trial for his crimes...And it's not just me, either. Kevin Riley is a Communications officer aboard the ship." 

Leonard flinched, wracking his brain for the name Kevin Riley, "Wait...wasn't he in Engineering? He was one of the twelve," Leonard knew all but twelve of the engineers aboard the ship because all but twelve of the engineers always seemed to get blown up, banged up, or broken. "Always came in for a physical, never did something stupid..." 

"The kiss-ass." Jim snorted. 

"I didn't even remember he was on the ship, Jim." 

"Probably why he never did anything stupid enough to make an impression." Jim muttered, "He didn't like being taken notice of...left that to me, so that he could hide." Leonard had tensed under the comfortable weight of the little one, "He was safe if the attention was on me; I didn't mind." 

Leonard absolutely didn't want to think of what it meant to Jim to have had that sort of attention; how much pain Jim must've gone through to keep the other boy safe. "It'll be okay, Jim." 

"I know it will, Bones. I just...I wish I knew how to handle this, and that I was a little taller to pull it off." 

Leonard made an executive decision, standing up with Jim in his arms and padding for the bedroom, still not hungry and willing to ignore later in favour of curling up with Jim and going to sleep now. Leonard set Jim on the bed with a kiss to his forehead, "I'll be right back, just gonna change, darlin'." 

"You're not being a good example, Bones; you're not taking care of yourself." Jim protested simply even as he turned over and crawled up further to wriggle under the covers on his side of the bed. 

"'M not hungry right now. Just tired. If you really don't wanna cuddle, though--" Jim slid under the covers, snapping his mouth shut and throwing his eyes wide as Leonard leaned over the bed, laughing as he kissed Jim's hair. "That's what I thought." 

"Smug is a good look on you." Jim smirked, covering himself up to his chin. 

Leonard shook his head, going to do what he said he would. Jim had pulled the covers halfway up his face by the time he came back, bright blue eyes just barely peeking over the top. 

"My nose is very cold." Jim complained. "I'd forgotten how cold I always was when I was little." Leonard slid into Jim's side of the bed, pulling him in almost under him. Jim beamed up at him, and Leonard lowered himself down, kissing Jim's nose and rubbing a hand through his mussed-up hair. 

"I love you." Leonard reminded him. 

"I love you, too." Jim purred, reaching up for him and hugging him down. Leonard curled up tight around him, Jim's hand brushing through his hair rhythmically, playing dirty in lulling him to sleep. Jim tugged gently on Leonard's hair, shifting Leonard's head onto his chest, his heartbeat strong in Leonard's ear. 

"Are you comfortable?" 

"Completely. You?" 

Leonard hummed, nodding, "How do you feel, Jim?"

"Much better, Bones. You made me better." Leonard passed his hand over Jim's forehead anyway, relaxing that Jim's temperature was almost normal. Jim was the Little Spoon of the two of them normally: Leonard liked wrapping around him and holding him tight, liked the way it made him feel to have his captain safe in his arms. 

"You sure you feel alright like this?" 

"Mm-hm. And I promise not to throw up on you." Jim laughed. 

"Don't make promises you can't keep, kid." Leonard grumbled, settling his long, broad hand over Jim's eyes, something that Leonard had done to get him to settle since the Academy. 

"Do you ever find it odd that in order to shut me up, you cover my eyes?" 

"If you don't shut up, sweetheart, I'll tape your mouth shut as well. Go the fuck to sleep."

Jim's eyes fluttered shut, his eyelashes brushing against Leonard's palm. Leonard took a small breath, his free hand taking Jim's before he started to softly sing a lullabye Jim had taught him for Joanna and her plush of her father. Jim's head was pillowed on the plush of the Enterprise, his free hand in Leonard's hair. Jim's fingers were burying through the dark brown strands, soothing and gentle. 

Leonard woke up confused as to when, exactly, he'd fallen asleep; the easing into unconsciousness had been so sudden and smooth. Jim was tucked under one arm, like he'd pulled it around himself after Leonard had removed his head from the small chest. Both hands were wrapped around Leonard's fingers, the little ball he'd curled himself into generating more heat than a damn furnace. Leonard knew he had a message on his comm by the softly flashing red light that was casting a glow over the walls. Twisting to locate the comm, Leonard didn't dare remove his hand from Jim's grip, hoping that his shifting wasn't enough to wake him. 

Leonard's stomach dropped at the message displayed before him, panic and fear rising in his chest. He looked at Jim, his soft features relaxed in sleep, his mouth fallen open and cheeks so flushed that it was like he'd glow if it got any pinker. Leonard couldn't stop himself from tensing the arm attached to Jim's captive, locking his fingers around Jim's tiny chest and drawing him across the sheets until he was completely under Leonard's curved arm, Leonard's body between him and the world like he could protect Jim from the trouble he knew was coming next. 

Tommy Leighton had been found dead outside of his home on Planet Q; made to look like a victim of Tarsus. Posed purposefully. McCoy wanted to get sick. 

Jim stirred, shifting restlessly until he successfully pushed into Leonard's chest, his face in Leonard's neck. One hand let go of Leonard's, reaching up to grip on to the loose shirt covering his shoulder with a little groan. "Hush, darlin'." 

With one hand, Leonard fumbled with his comm, tapping out a message to Scotty asking for an update on their progress. He pressed a kiss to Jim's cheek, taking his temperature even as he let his heart stray to thoughts of a child with Jim's eyes. He wanted Jim's eyes; his dark hair; boy or girl, it wouldn't matter to him, just so long as he could have a baby he loved as wholly as he loved Jim. Leonard rubbed his hand over Jim's chest, his heart beating under Leonard's palm, steady and soothing. 

Jim groaned, his lashes fluttering as he squirmed and stretched. Leonard stopped breathing for a moment, watching as Jim's bright blue eyes slowly drew open, falling on him before seeing anything else. Jim beamed the moment his blurry eyes registered Leonard there, and he let go of Leonard's hand, squirming to reach up and pull Leonard in for a hug, "Sweet dreams?" Leonard asked quietly, holding him tight. 

"No dreams, even better." Jim replied, "You slept?" 

"Yeah, sweetheart, I did. No need to fuss." 

"I wasn't the only one who'd had a long day, Bones. You need someone to take care of you like you take care of everyone, too." 

"First Chapel's telling me I need a shrink instead of always being one, now you're telling me I need a caregiver..."

"We love you. We want to take care of you like you take care of us." Jim told him simply. He groaned as he sat up, looking down at himself. "I'd really hoped I would magic my way back big in the night." 

"Sorry, darlin', but no such luck." Leonard reached for his comm as a reply from Scotty came in, "Scott's getting there, but there's something going on with the Bridge and Engineering, so it's been put on back-burner..." Leonard trailed off, answering a call from Medical before it could even fully ring. "McCoy." 

"Doctor, we have a problem." Chapel sounded worryingly harried, "Commander Spock, and Lieutenant Commander Sulu have contracted some form of fever, it...it appears to lower their inhibitions, and it appears to be spreading rather quickly." 

"What's the path the contagion is taking?" 

"I believe...I believe that the contagion has been spread through the more humid climate found in Mr. Sulu's botany lab. So far, the disease has struck Lieutenant Kevin Riley, and Engineer Keenser--" 

"Bones, I have to take over command again. Spock's out, it's--" 

"Go," Leonard agreed on a breath, nodding vigorously as he stumbled out of bed and tried for pants without falling on his ass. 

Jim pressed a kiss to his cheek when he was bent over to get them, and with a last look in Leonard's eyes, he shimmied out of the footie pyjamas and yanked on another set of clothes, running for the doors even as he commed the Bridge. Leonard nearly tripped over him running out of their quarters twenty seconds (and a string of curses directed at unwilling socks) later. It didn't take long to figure out what Jim was taken aback by, though: Hikaru Sulu was leaping through the corridors like around every corner there was a foe--shirtless, armed with his katana, and out of his goddamn mind. 

"I'll save you, fair maiden!" Sulu shouted, taking Uhura out of a wild embrace with Spock, and holding her to his side, slightly behind him so that he could wield his sword and shield her from any oncoming attacks. 

"Sorry, neither." She quipped, reaching up to his shoulder and performing a Vulcan Nerve Pinch on him, dropping him like a sack of rocks. 

Uhura and Spock were stumbling their way into their quarters, losing clothes in the way, before Leonard even had time to process his confusion. "I'd offer to help you carry him down to Medical, but I would be absolutely no help at this height..." Jim muttered, eyes wide and voice high with shock. 

"Get lost, kid. You're needed on the Bridge more than I need you to help me wrangle your helmsman." 

Music started playing from the ship-wide intercom, and Jim flinched, his head cocking to one side, "'I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen'?"


	4. Feel You In Every Heartbeat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of the chapter was inspired by [this](http://imadoctornotablog.tumblr.com/post/66203358973).

"Bones, I'd really appreciate it if you had a cure for that disease!" Jim urged through the comm, "Mr. Riley has rerouted Bridge controls into Engineering and at this point, Keenser and I are the only two who can get through the barricade to get to him, and Keenser, as you well know, is having a three-way with Scotty and Gaila, which is a mental image I don't want to have to the point that I may throw up now." 

"I'm a doctor, Jim, not a miracle worker, we're getting there!" 

"You hangin' in there, Bonesy?" 

"I'd love it if I could get a status update from Nyota about Spock, but I don't have anyone I hate enough to send down there." 

"If you need something from the planet, Captain Kevin Riley seems to be taking us that way." 

"Jim, do whatever you have to, but don't get shot." 

"I'll see what I can do." 

"Don't try, Jim: do." 

"Yes, sir." Laughing, Jim cut off the call, looking at Chekov, Cupcake, and a Security team. "I'm going in. Kevin and I have history, but wish me luck anyway." 

Waggling his eyebrows with a devilish grin, Jim slipped through the partially pried open doors to Engineering, ducking and wriggling past debris and praying that Scotty wouldn't kill him for neglecting to--no, he couldn't think about what he'd interrupt, because then he really would throw up, and he was a captain, dammit; he would not be reduced to puking his way through saving the ship. He had his pride. Even if the footie pyjamas called that into question. 

He froze half-twisted, his front halfway out of a particularly tight fit between two pieces of metal he refused to identify, when the first phaser blast hit the barricade. 

"Don't come any closer, Kirk!" 

"Kev, you know me; you know that that's not gonna stop me. What will stop me is if you come to Medical and get checked out, buddy. Even captain's gotta come in for physicals, man. Which is something that if you tell McCoy I said, I'll commit mutiny." 

"You got it all, Kirk! You got Doctor McCoy and the Enterprise and the love of billions! You're the wunderkind, and was left on Tarsus IV, taking the shadow because I was too scared to ever stand in the spotlight! Not anymore!" 

"Kev, I completely agree: come into the spotlight. Come be all you can be. I know you can be just as much of a hero as I am, if not more: I believe in you. Tarsus fucked us up good, man, but we need to make sure you're fit for duty first. I know you feel feverish, I've been feeling sick, too, but we're gonna go get checked out." 

"Kirk--" 

"Look at me, Kev." Jim grunted as he completed the twist, tumbling out of the barricade and landing hard, a shooting pain travelling up his arm, "I'm five. I'm so far from being able to captain right now...I can't even tell you." Jim knew that pain: his arm was broken. He kept it together, though; not even on Tarsus had he ever let Kevin see him shatter. 

Kevin had some sort of paternal instinct, though, rushing over to Jim and helping him up, his hands careful on his injured arm. Kevin shifted the barricade he'd made, calling to Cupcake on the other side as he did to get help from that end, and Jim was headed to Medical with Kevin in-tow before he knew it. 

Jim was honestly surprised when McCoy was the one bustling over to him, though; with fifteen crew members strapped to beds, he didn't think Chapel would even bother informing McCoy, knowing this would happen. 

He was happy, though. Leonard's hands were careful with him, easing the osteoregenerator over his arm after he'd given Jim an analgesic. 

"Stop looking so damn pleased, Jim, I figured out the cure about five seconds before you got here." 

"Ah, so I'm not your priority patient, then. My bad." Jim was smirking anyway, looking up at Bones from under his fringe of golden lashes. Bones snorted, and Jim just let the smirk turn into an all-out grin, comming Pavel in Engineering, "How're we looking, Mr. Chekov?" 

"All systemz back onwine on ze Bridge, sir! Headed out of orbit of Psi 2000, and back for Planet Q." 

"Good to hear. Mr. Riley's resting comfortably down here, and the crewmembers affected will have the antidote just as soon as we can get them all." 

"I'll be down een a moment, sir." 

"I'll see if Spock will actually answer a call yet." Jim laughed. 

"I can't believe you broke your damn arm tripping out of a barricade." Leonard grumbled worse than a summer storm, coming back with, of all things, a sucker. Jim shifted forwards on the biobed that was five miles too big for him like this, wrapping his arms around Leonard's neck and hugging him tight. "Can I just put you in a padded room? I'll let you have the viewscreens and the chair, you can still be Captain, but...padding and safety." 

Jim chuckled, "That would be such a nightmare to clean up. Two weeks of leave and everything would be covered in--OW!" Jim jerked, smacking Leonard's chest as he hypoed him. "What the hell was that?" 

"The vaccine to the disease. You and I also went down on that away mission, and we don't know yet what it is that Spock and Sulu interacted with." 

"You're a horrible human being, and I think we'd know if we lost all our inhibitions." 

Bones grinned at him, pecking his forehead. "I'll call Scott if you call Spock." 

"Deal." Jim groaned, hanging his head. "It's sad that agreeing to do something I absolutely don't want to do makes me happy as opposed to the misery of doing it twice." 

"I'm takin' one for the team, kid." Bones muttered, shaking his head. 

"Kirk to Spock. Either you need to find me a booster seat to sit in the Chair, or you need to wrap it up and get down to Medical for the cure, Spock. ...Tell me you've wrapped it prior to tapping, it, Spock, we have another two years up here and as much as I like the pitter patter of little feet, losing my second-in-command and my best communications officer would be--"

"How is it that just talking makes you a cockblock, Kirk? Does McCoy gag you?" Uhura hissed. Jim winced at what he knew by her voice was going on in the background, but he grit his teeth and bore it. 

"That'd be fun." He managed to put on a musing tone, staring very hard at the doors to Medical in order not to think about what he was interrupting. "But I think he likes me chatty." 

"I hate you." Uhura spat. 

"I know, sweetpea, but I'm going to keep calling and talking until you get Spock down here and dosed with the vaccine. My sweet angel of a doctor is doing just the same thing to split up a three-way between Keenser, Gaila, and Scotty..." 

Uhura called him several things in High Romulan that Jim wasn't sure any five-year-old in existence had ever heard before, drawing the attention of McCoy and a raised eyebrow. 

"Uhura, get him down here or I'll use my medical override and come up there. Eyeful or not, I'm a damn doctor and I've seen shit that will make it so that neither of you so much as looks at a condom again." 

Bones snapped the line dead with that, shaking his head at Jim; standing on the bed, Jim half-flung himself into Bones's arms, "I love you and I would ask you to marry me but we're already engaged." 

Bones cracked up, setting Jim on the ground. "Hate to ruin the surprise, but I'd say yes." 

Jim smiled, his brows furrowing after a beat, "Nurse Chapel, I'm taking Bones to breakfast. Neither of us've eaten. Anything you want us to bring back?" 

"I want Doctor McCoy not to return until it's actually time for his next shift, if you would, captain." Chapel replied cheerily, "Go have fun." 

"Thank you, ma'am." Jim turned on the charm, and McCoy rolled his eyes so hard it was a possibility one of them would fall out. Jim turned to Bones instead of heading out, though, "I want to talk to Kevin before we go..." 

"Alright." Bones sighed, a gentle smile tugging at him, "I'll go down to the mess, get plates for us." 

Jim smiled, his eyes oddly sad--but Jim shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his shrunken self, and Bones knew why. Kneeling down, Leonard kissed his cheek, smiling into his eyes. 

"You'll be back to you soon, Jim. Two weeks of leave after that. 'S gonna be our honeymoon for as long as we can hold this whole thing over Spock's head." 

Jim obviously didn't want to laugh, but a little light was in his eyes, "I'm gonna hold you to that." 

"For as long as we can beg, borrow, and steal the time." 

Chapel orbited close, dropping her voice, "Can I ask a personal question, Len?" He looked at her, "How are you separating that he's a kid from that he's your lover?" 

"He's not a kid, Christine. Not really. It's Jim, just in another body. He doesn't look exactly like the man I'm going to marry, but his mind is still completely his." 

"You love him for his mind, huh?" She joked. 

"I love him for everything, Christine: have you ever met anyone like him, in any respect?" 

Christine glanced over the child talking quietly, soothingly, to a crewman that had taken control of the ship and put them in danger. He wasn't recriminating or severe; joking quietly and talking about encouraging the other man to do what his inhibitions were stopping him from doing: encouraging that Kevin Riley step into the 'spotlight', that he use the hard work and dedication to go somewhere, instead of remaining in Engineering. Leonard was right: Christine had never known someone quite like Kirk before. 

"He cares for every single member of this crew, Christine. For that alone, I'll never stop loving him." 

McCoy walked over to the biobed, reaching for Jim and hugging him close. "Jim--" Kevin started, cutting himself off as he looked from Leonard to Jim. 

"I'm sorry." Jim whispered, and at Kevin's look, he shook his head with a wry expression, "You listed Leonard on the things I was so damn lucky to have, Kev. Model patient to win the heart of the fair doctor--I'm sorry." 

Kevin swallowed, "It's stupid...but I'm glad that the things I've made myself miss out on...that you're the one getting them, Jim." 

Leonard didn't know how or if to respond, but Jim just smiled as much as he could muster at the young man on the biobed, turning his head to Leonard in silent signal, and Leonard was easing away before his brain could consciously order his feet to do so. 

They were both silent as Leonard made his way back to their quarters; uncaring if Spock and Uhura surfaced, or if Gaila and Scotty managed to get Keenser down to Medical. He had something he needed to talk to Jim about, something he'd had inside him for long enough that it needed to come out. 

Sitting down on the couch with Jim sitting far enough away that they could look each other in the eye, Leonard suddenly struggled for words. 

"Jim...When we first met, your existence...made me angry. Just your existence. How could someone so bright be in a world that made the strongest man I ever knew beg his son to kill him? ...But you're the strongest man I've ever known, Jim. What you've done, what you've gone through...it makes who you are mind boggling. You astound me, and you still manage to royally tick me off just by existing." Leonard cupped his hands around Jim's cheeks, basking at Jim's beaming smile as he pressed a kiss to Jim's forehead, then one to the tip of his nose. 

"How am I supposed to come up with something to say to you in wedding vows when you say shit like this to me for no reason at all?" Jim collapsed into Leonard's chest, burying his head in the solid expanse of warmth. 

Leonard shook his head, curling down to kiss Jim's hair, "You don't have to say things like this, darlin'." 

"Neither do you, Bones...You make it impossible to prove how much I love you. You brought me back from the dead, Bones. You'd never have to tell me you love me again because of that one thing, but you keep saving me. You never give up on me." 

"I don't know why you love me..." Leonard admitted. 

"When we first met, an aviophobic, grumpy old Southern doctor was being pushed out of the safe haven he'd tried for. And you disapproved of me, right then and there, but you took care of me, too. And I was gone for you. No one's taken care of me like you do, Bones. You told me all you had left were your bones, but you've got more heart than a blue whale." Jim rubbed his face against the material of Leonard's uniform, uncaring that it scratched at his cheeks as Leonard's hands closed around his back. 

"Let's get some food into you, Jim." Leonard managed. Jim was relieved to hear the strain in his voice; it meant that the lump in Jim's throat wasn't alone. _I'll take care of you until the day I die._


	5. No Such Thing

"Tom Leighton's dead." Jim muttered out of unmoving lips, his eyes wide. 

"Jim--" 

"Bones, I have to go back to our quarters: I have some research to do." 

The little boy slid out of the chair they'd situated him on, off of a box Keenser had brought sheepishly to Jim with an apology that it'd had to be Jim to climb through the Engineering barricade. He laid a hand on Leonard's arm, his big blue eyes looking up imploringly. 

"I need an hour, Bones. And I would have you with me in a heartbeat if I could share this with you, but I'm not meant to have this information." 

"You're...finding the others. The other survivors." Leonard breathed, flinching when Jim nodded solemnly. "Jim--" 

"Tommy was murdered to look like one of the victims after sending a communique to me about a man that looked too much like Kodos for comfort, Bones," Jim breathed, too low for anyone else in the din of the mess to hear, "once I can convince myself is an incident, two a coincidence, but if there's a third, Bones...if there's a third it's a pattern, and I'd stake credits that Kodos is alive...and killing the survivors off." 

The little hand on his sleeve tightened for a moment before letting go. Leonard turned in his seat, "Jim!" He called, "If you're right...you're not the only one in danger." 

Jim looked grim, "True...but if I'm right, I'm the only one who's going to be able to do anything about it." 

Nyota dropped into the seat next to Leonard, Spock into the one across from him as Jim disappeared from sight out of the mess doors. "He's being stupid and heroic again. I can tell, you get this one expression that's like a refinement of your usual scowl, pout, and fume of Jim just being stupid." 

"Nyota," Leonard growled the warning, and for once, Nyota took it, falling silent. 

"Doctor, I have been carefully considering the course of action we would do well to take upon reaching Planet Q: it's my belief that Jim will have to come into the open, and see the man, in order to make a positive identification." 

"We don't even know which man, Spock! The communique said an actor, and there are thirty men and women in that damn company. Taking out the seventeen women, that leaves thirteen men, and all we have is a five-year-old who'll know which of them he is! And when we do catch 'im, what are we gonna do, huh?" 

"You would kill him for what he did to Jim...and we would do the same, for Jim and every soul trapped on Tarsus--" 

"Jim wouldn't want that, Spock, and we both know it. He offered the Narada help; he put Khan in the brig rather than killing him when we first had the chance--he believes in the system, in the idea that we can bring things like this back and they will be put to trial and the justice doled out will be enough! I took an oath to save lives, but I would break it...I would break it to take the life of that one man, Spock, and you can't tell me you haven't thought of this already; that you don't feel the same damn way!" 

"I do, Doctor. I will not deny it. Jim's belief in the system is admirable, if misguided, and I believe the risk posed with the presence of Kevin Riley on the ship would make taking Kodos into custody a moot point in opposition to simply killing him--" Spock cut off as Leonard's comm sounded. 

"Doctor, we've had an emergency activation calling medical to your quarters--" Chapel told him hurriedly. 

"He couldn't comm? Shit." McCoy swore, stumbling to get out of the mess and taking off in a sprint for their quarters, Spock and Uhura on his heels. 

Their door opened the moment he touched the pad: Medical override engaged to respond in the instance any medical personnel touched the pad once the alert was activated. Leonard could hear Jim getting violently sick, and his tricorder was in his hand without his conscious effort, opening the door to the bathroom and crouching close enough to run scans. 

"His temperature is dangerously high." McCoy growled, dimly aware of Spock comming Medical and ordering help to be sent to them, "Nyota, get a cool glass of water for him, will you?" Standing, Leonard grabbed a facecloth, running it under cold water from their real-water shower and crouching again to carefully lay the cold compress over the back of Jim's neck. "I'm here, Jim. It's gonna be okay." 

Spock had McCoy's hypo in his hand, handing it to the doctor before getting out of the way of a team of Cupcake and Nurse Chapel getting to the door with a stretcher. 

Jim was shaking all over, tears streaming down his cheeks from how hard he'd been heaving, and McCoy's heart broke for him. Leonard got out of the way, too, finding something that would hopefully lower the fever and take care of the sickness while he looked at what it was that was causing it. Jim made a small sound of protest as he was carefully picked up to go on the stretcher, his hands curled into fists against the sickness pulling at him. Moaning pitifully, Jim cracked open his eyes, looking at Leonard with a plea written all over his face. 

"Sir, I've been examining Kirk's blood samples, and comparing them to his records and the samples he's given previously: as an older man, I believe Jim had antibodies for whatever virus this mutation stemmed from, but now...McCoy, looking at his records, I believe that the young James Kirk was sick through most of his childhood. I believe it began as a simple virus--" 

"And went untreated long enough to mutate." It was becoming increasingly common now for Leonard to want to kill people from Jim's past, and Frank and Winona had reached the list yet again. "We don't have any record of the original virus, so what I need first is a work-up of possibilities so we can figure out how the virus mutated. Unlike Winona, I will not watch her son suffer." 

Leonard strode forward, catching up to Cupcake with the stretcher and reaching over the side to hold Jim's hand. Jim roused, turning his head towards Leonard, eyes still closed. Jim was a creature of touch, and Leonard knew, as someone who'd been through fevers and getting sick himself, that touch, right then, was a bad idea even for how much it was a comfort: touch made his temperature feel higher, made the overwhelming blanket of nausea and dizziness just get worse. 

"This was sudden, huh?" Leonard murmured, voice pitched low enough that if Jim was falling into sleep, he wouldn't be brought back out of it. 

"W-Wasn't feeling good when I stopped Kevin, but...I didn't think it was bad." Jim admitted. Leonard's breath caught disprovingly, and Jim knew he was shaking his head. "'M sorry." 

"You can't ignore stuff like this, darlin': makes it look like I'm not doin' my job to take care of you." 

Jim opened his eyes, glassy with fever but still the most brilliant thing Leonard had ever seen, "You can send anyone that complains to me. I'll either throw up on them or hit them." 

Leonard chuckled, "How 'bout you drink some nice, cold water, sweetheart? Did you get to do any of what you were planning to do--" 

"I did." Jim mumbled, "They're being wiped out, Leonard...We're being wiped out." 

Leonard let go of Jim's hand, running his fingers through the short, soft strands of honey-blond hair. "No one is getting anywhere near you, Jim. We won't let them." 

"I want the security team in the know. Sulu and Chekov, too. If something happens...No, Bones, listen to me, dammit: if something happens, they catch him. They take him down, they make him answer for his crimes. This is an order." 

"...Fine." Leonard finally replied, "But _nothing_ is going to happen to you, Jim--" 

"Bones," Jim caught his hand from running another scan with the tricorder, "it is not me I'm worried about." 

Spock sidled up to the other side of the biobed once they'd gotten Jim into it; Uhura's expression the one giving away that they were both worried. "Jim, before you called, Doctor McCoy and I were discussing the danger of having Kodos on the ship with Kevin Riley. I believe that it would not take much for Mr. Riley to want to kill him--"

"He already wants to kill him, Spock." Jim sighed, "Which is why Lieutenant Riley can't know. I want this classified. You three know; Sulu and Chekov can know, and a select team from Security. Beyond that, no one else."

"Moving Mr. Riley from Communications back to Engineering may help to keep him from the knowledge." 

Jim was quiet, an angry kind of pensive for a long moment, before he looked up at Uhura, "I need to speak to Scotty. He doesn't deserve a demotion, so I need a way to spin this." 

"Manufacture an injury in Engineering?" Bones asked, gently administering another hypo and pulling sheets up around Jim. 

"I need to talk to Scotty. I don't know..." Jim's gaze was far off, considering, and Leonard knew he'd be like this until it was resolved. 

"I'm gonna go get his pyjamas. He might as well be comfortable confined to bedrest." Leonard grumbled to Spock, nodding at Nurse Chapel as she set a glass of water for Jim. 

Leonard picked up Jim's comm and his PADD as well, debating whether bringing the plush would be too much of a punishable offence when Jim was already in footie pyjamas in front of whoever came into Medical. Leonard grabbed the shirt Jim stole from him any time their shifts didn't match up instead, heading down to Medical only to find that Spock and Uhura had cleared out, Scotty and Jim talking in hushed tones. 

He waited until they'd argued it out in whispers, every detail thrashed out between them. Scotty stood, looking over to the doctor, and he looked pink, Jim wincing as he swallowed down some water, his throat sore even from having whispered the argument. 

"You come bearing presents." Jim groaned out in greeting as Leonard cast an assessing eye over the readouts from the bed, setting down the bundle before he pulled activated the privacy controls from the inside, sitting on the chair beside the bed. Jim grinned at him as he pulled the shirt into his chest, burying his face in the fabric and breathing deep. "Smells like you." 

Leonard knew the feeling; he had a favourite of Jim's shirts to steal, too. "You're responding well to the medication. Your fever's dropped a few degrees." 

"And I don't feel like most of my internal organs are going to be ejected through my throat." Jim agreed. "Thanks for saving me." 

Leonard reached over, cupping Jim's cheek with a soft look on his face, "I'll always save you." He sighed, gathering the clothes Jim discarded up as the boy wriggled into the pyjamas he'd been brought. "What conclusion'd you reach with Scotty?" 

"No injuries necessary: Scotty's going to take Riley in a team to work on my height issues, so the people he'd usually call for back-up go to main Engineering, and Riley is safely out of Communications." 

"Smart." Leonard agreed, laying a hand on Kirk's leg as Jim fought his way through the voluminous shirt until he got his head through the correct hole. "Any updates on that front?" 

"No, but I believe in them: they won't let me down." 

Leonard smiled, fluffing Jim's hair down from the tumbled mess it'd made itself into. "You're a brilliant man, Jim Kirk." 

Jim curled up against the pillow, bringing the blankets up over his shoulder as he stared at Leonard, "Remind me of the worse things we've been through than this." 

Leonard reached forward, carding his fingers through the front of Jim's hair, "Remember the time everyone who tried to talk to you burst into song? I think that was worse." 

"No, 'cause then you sang and it was worth it." Jim moved his cheek into Leonard's palm, cupping his hand there as he stared at him with huge, soulful eyes. 

"The tentacles?" Jim winced dramatically, and Leonard chuckled, "Yeah, thought so. Worse than this, too, just didn't take so long to fix." 

"'Cause you were the one fixing it. You didn't sleep for two days, Bones." 

"You were suddenly aquatic and we had to lock you in a compression chamber full of water in order to keep you from suffocating. Besides, I don't like sleeping without you, just like you don't like it without me." 

"That time on Verus XII was bad." Jim agreed, "But you looked surprisingly good dressed as a medieval prince." 

"And when you knocked your helmet off after the battle? I'd never been so turned on by chainmail in my life." Leonard laughed in whispers. "Right up until you asked for a token from your damsel and I wanted to beat you to a pulp." 

"I was playing the part, Bones...Okay, no I wasn't; I was having fun, but that's besides the point--we wouldn't have gotten out of there if we hadn't played our parts." 

"Spock dressed as a sorcerer made my life worth it." Leonard laughed. 

"Uhura and I both dressed as knights was also worth it. She should go for the warrior queen look more often." 

"I think she does, Jim." Leonard nipped the tangent in the bud before something was said that would come back to bite his lover in the ass. Jim shot him a look that read to acknowledge that Jim knew what he was doing, and was thankful for it. "And chasing after Ambassador Spock when he went to kidnap the whales? That was also kind of bad."

"No, Bones: I mean that the Starfleet uniform is completely impractical for women. It needs to be changed. Women should be able to wear the same uniforms we do and not be stuck in short skirts and short sleeves that are completely impractical for lowered temperatures--" 

"You're actually...kind of right." Bones told him, pulling worried on like a glove. 

"Thank you!" Jim burst, waving his hand in the air wildly, a crazed look in his eye. 

"We'll talk to Nyota about it, then see what we can do, hm?" 

Jim wriggled his finger in a 'come here' gesture and Leonard leaned forward, accepting a kiss to the cheek. "What else have we been through that puts this to shame?" 

"That time you and I switched bodies?" Leonard suggested. 

"Now, I know it was pretty bad trying to operate with hands that weren't yours, but I'd like to point out that it could've been worse: we could've switched _while_ you were operating, leaving me with someone's life in your hands, clueless." 

"You have a point." Leonard conceded. "And as so-called 'gifts' go, that's not the worst one we've been given, I'll admit that." 

"I know which one you're thinking of, and I'll have you know, I thoroughly enjoyed that particular gift." 

"You say that now: fifteen hours of fucking, and you were dead for three days." 

"It was kind of funny that the high priestess thought the person I was most attracted to was her, though. I mean, you were in the room with me, and she managed to be that deluded." 

Leonard raised a brow, but Jim didn't ruin it by insisting; he simply looked at Bones, smiling softly to himself. 

"You ever think I'll get over the honeymoon phase?" 

Leonard looked at him, hazel eyes deep, "I'm right there with you, darlin', and I don't think I ever will." 

Jim smiled, reaching for Leonard's hand. "I love you." 

"I love you, too."


	6. What a Catch

Leonard was asleep on Jim's biobed with him when they finally arrived at Planet Q. Chapel had all but heaved him up there, Jim's little hands pulling while she pushed, and McCoy had woken up just enough to pull Jim into his chest, burying his nose in Jim's hair and curling up around him. Jim and Chapel had talked in whispers while Jim pet through his hair. She must have turned off the alerts on the bed, because there wasn't any alarms screeching him awake. 

Instead, Leonard woke up curled around Jim like some sort of teddy bear. "Why do I feel like I did something incredibly stupid?" 

"Because you did," Jim laughed quietly, "you fell asleep in the chair, Bones." 

Leonard groaned into Jim's hair, pulling him in tighter in his arms, "Sorry, but I'm not letting you go." 

"Why are you apologizing and who the hell said I wanted you to?"

Leonard kissed whatever was closest--Jim's shoulder at the moment--and smiled. 

"Go back to sleep, Bonesy." Jim urged. "You're not scheduled for a shift for the foreseeable future, you're only needed on emergencies, just like you told Spock you wanted. Sleep now, we both know you don't get near enough." Jim pressed a kiss to his fingertips, tucking his hand in against Jim's chest again and wriggling once to get comfortable. 

Leonard sighed gustily, closing his eyes again and relaxing into the feeling of Jim's tiny body in his arms. He wasn't going back to sleep, but he could enjoy the quiet peace afforded from the moment. 

In his head, Leonard could almost hear Jim analysing his condition; the napping, the regular eating, the excessive (even for Jim) need to cuddle. Leonard's just happy that Jim's kept over the philosophy he'd had in the Academy of any chance to nap being a good chance to nap, instead of dealing with a shirty and over-tired five-year-old Kirk. He was happy Jim was so easy a touch when it came to snuggling up and going for a nap; Joanna had been colicky, even at five, and Leonard had to admit, if only to himself, that he'd expected settling Jim Kirk for a nap would be something akin to wrestling the Cretan Bull with one arm tied behind your back. Leonard reached down for the blankets, fallen halfway down the biobed, and brought them up, all the way over their heads, so that they were tented in. Jim smiled against his arm, curling deeper into the curve of Leonard's body. 

In the warm dark, Leonard closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of Jim Kirk: sunshine and open air, now tinged with the sweet, soft baby-powder scent of youth. It was a damn good scent. 

"Bridge to Kirk." Spock's voice interrupted after just long enough for Leonard to be slipping back to sleep. 

"Kirk here." Jim answered, sounding begrudging. 

"Captain, we have arrived at Planet Q and are awaiting your direction for our next course of action." 

Jim turned in Leonard's arms, stuffing his face into Leonard's chest. "Spock, I need to get Jim stabalized before you go down to the planet. Come down to Medical, you can discuss it with him while I make sure his fever's under control." 

Jim sighed, his fingers tightening in Leonard's shirt front. They signed off of the call, and Leonard bowed his head to kiss Jim's hair. "You'd come with me..." 

"I'm gonna, darlin'." 

"No, Bones...I need you here. I need you...to be here, waiting for me, so that when I come back up, I can run into you and break." 

Leonard was silent for a long moment before he heaved a sigh, sliding fingers through Jim's hair. "Alright, sweetheart. But you're takin' the whole damn security team and Sulu with his katana and you're sticking with Spock like white on rice, do you hear me?" 

Jim nodded into his chest, and Leonard drew in a breath that hurt. 

"I love you, sweetheart, and I will be waiting for you--pacin' a damn hole in the floor of the transporter room." Jim raised his head from Leonard's chest at last, lifting up until he could press a small kiss to the corner of Leonard's mouth. 

"I love you, too, Bones." 

Spock arrived as Leonard convinced himself to let go of Jim, moving for a tricorder and working with and around Nurse Chapel as she stepped in to help. "Doctor...I feel comfortable in promising you that I will bring Jim back to you, in one piece." 

Leonard looked over at Spock for a long moment, considering, "I appreciate it." He murmured, nodding once. It wasn't taken lightly; Spock didn't promise such things. Ever. "I need to you to keep an eye on his temperature, too. If it gets to thirty-eight point eight degrees Celsius or higher, administer this, it's an anti-nauseant and it's worked thus far at controlling his fever." 

Spock nodded, taking the hypo from Leonard and looking at Jim with eyes that almost let fear show. Spock held out his arms, and Jim shrugged with his eyebrows, standing up on the bed, dressed now in something Jim Kirk would've picked out to wear. He pulled McCoy in first, hugging fiercely and pressing a kiss to his jaw. "Love you, Bonesy." He whispered, before letting him go and stepping into Spock's arms, letting himself be carried by his second-in-command. 

The away team met in the transporter room; everyone armed and no one pleased at the prospect of what they were there for. Hikaru ducked his head to McCoy, reaching out to clap him on the shoulder. "We'll take care of him, Len. And I don't just mean the captain." The cold threat shining in Sulu's eyes gave McCoy a swell of pride, but he had to quash it. 

"Son, we're not the ones who should be going for vengeance: don't you think that the calmest, the least violent of us right now, is the only one who should?" Sulu looked up at him for a long moment, dark eyes sad and angry and thoughtful. 

He nodded, jaw set, and looked at Pavel, waiting with Scotty by the transporter controls. Pavel pulled him in to a kiss, leaning their foreheads together as he muttered something to him in Russian. 

On the pad, Uhura kissed Jim's cheek before pecking a kiss to Spock's lips, tears in her eyes. "Wewe na nguvu zaidi kuliko mtu yeyote najua. Kuwa na nguvu bado." She murmured in Swahili, and Jim smiled with his eyes like he understood her. 

She smiled back at him, and McCoy figured that maybe he did. 

Scotty looked like he was about to have a panic attack, nearly knocking Uhura over as he rushed over to Jim, snatched him out of Spock's arms, and hugged him so hard Jim made a sound like a stuck pig. "Be safe, ya wee bastard! We cannae lose you!" 

"You're not gonna--lose me...might strangle...me..." Jim grit, gasping for air as Spock took him out of Scotty's grip. "You lot act like we're going to my execution. I love you all, you're all out of your bloomin' minds--yes, Scott, I did steal that one from you--but this is no worse than the time--" 

"Hush." Uhura snapped, eyes narrowed, "We will fawn over you all we want, Kirk; you're small and adorable." By the end she was grinning and he was scowling. 

"Curses upon my cuteness!" Kirk exclaimed dramatically, gesturing to Pavel, "Energize!" 

Uhura turned to Leonard, who shrugged, "Don' look at me: I put up with that, he puts up with dad-jokes." 

"You two deserve each other!" Scotty laughed. 

~

Planetside, the away team was met with Thomas Leighton's wife, the only other person on the planet privy to Leighton's fears. 

"I would've brought hell down on the head of whichever one it was Tommy suspected," she told them, tears in her eyes, "he never told me which one it was, though--" 

"Mrs. Leighton, my name is Jim Kirk...Yeah, there was a glitch, things like this happen--but the point is: I can identify him, Mrs. Leighton. I will make the man who killed Tommy pay for what he did, to Tommy and to every single one of us." 

She reached out for his arm, squeezing gently with a look of utter sadness in his eyes. "Thank you." 

Jim smiled softly, laying his other hand over hers and nodding. "I need you to introduce us to this band of actors, Mrs. Leighton." 

She nodded, her eyes going cold and hard, "Follow me." 

Kirk wriggled out of Spock's grip just as he had with Leonard's, taking his hand obediently with a roll of his eyes. "You promised Bones I wouldn't get hurt: why did you have to go and promise him I wouldn't get hurt?" 

Spock raised an eyebrow at the grumbling boy, following after Mrs. Leighton as she led them through the streets to a city hall that had been co-opted as a theatre. The players were rehearsing: half on stage for their scene, the rest waiting in the audience area, watching their compatriots play out their scenes. 

Jim's bright eyes scanned over them, catching on one man in particular; a red-headed man with a goatee, bent over his lines. Jim looked so aggrieved in that moment that it would've made Leonard sick to his stomach, seeing Jim in so much pain. "Kodos." He called, just loud enough to be heard, and the reaction was instinctive and immediate: the man's head came up, eyes going to Jim instead of looking for someone answering to the name. The phaser was in the man's hand before the security team could make their advance, one of the other actors taken hostage. 

"Y-You look like a boy I knew once." Kodos muttered out, crazed eyes on Jim, "Be smart now, like he was: be smart, and let this go." 

"No." Jim said simply, straightening and raising his chin. "You won't let this go: why should I?" 

"My child, the one thing untouched by what I did, killed herself for being my daughter!" Kodos bellowed. 

"So killing the survivors of your massacre? That's going to honour her memory?" Jim had managed to slip past the legs of every member of the away team, slowly but steadily moving towards Kodos. 

"I want every piece of evidence--" 

"Gone? You can't go back and erase it, Kodos. You _executed_ half of a population." 

"I thought I was right to! If I hadn't, we might all have died!" 

"No: if you hadn't, there was a chance that supplies would not have lasted until help arrived. A _chance_. What you did...it was the scared actions of a desperate man...but this? Killing Tommy and the other survivors...You've murdered fifteen people. And fourteen of them had never seen you. They couldn't bear evidence against you. You have no defence against that. There is no escaping it now." 

Kodos shoved the phaser harder against his hostage, and the young man started to cry in fear. "I did what I had to!" 

"You did something even you know wasn't right!" Jim bellowed right back, blue eyes blazing, "You're about to drown in the blood you've spilled, and you're threatening to spill more?! To what end, exactly? You've been revealed; Mr. Spock, XO of the USS Enterprise, has taken my identification of you to the Enterprise, which will communicate our discovery to Starfleet. You can't run any more; there's nothing to fight your way out of. Stop trying." 

"No!" 

"Where was this will to fight when you killed four thousand people?" Kirk demanded. It didn't matter that he was a five-year-old, not with the fury burning in his eyes, drawing blood across his cheeks. He was a force of nature at three feet tall, still advancing forward. "It's said eugenics decided the deaths, Kodos, but I've met a man produced by eugenics, and you are nothing like him!" Kodos actually startled as Kirk managed to raise his voice loud enough to make even Spock shift back uncomfortably. 

It was the opportunity needed: Spock fired one phaser shot at Kodos, stunning him. Jim started on an unholy coughing fit as Sulu ran forward and scooped up him, running a hand over his forehead while Cupcake took Kodos into custody. 

"You're burnin' up, short stop." Sulu murmured, and he looked...relieved, somehow; proud. Jim nodded, baring his neck to allow Spock to administer to the hypo. 

"Spock to Enterprise, six to beam up." 

Sulu hit the ground hard under the sudden weight, familiar though it was from their sky diving incident on Vulcan. Kirk groaned, rolling off Sulu's side and onto his back, looking down at himself, "Bones?" 

"Yeah, you're full-grown again, darlin'." Leonard's voice had slid deep, husky; the Southern twang coming out just a little, and Jim managed to pull himself into a sitting position, beaming at his doctor. 

"See, I was hoping I could either get back the uniform that shrunk with me, or get the footie pyjamas...those things were comfortable." Kirk muttered breathlessly, looking down at his new outfit with something of a pout. 

Bones rolled his eyes as he scanned Jim with the tricorder, "Not bad, actually, Jim..." 

"Give me twenty-four hours and I'll be completely back to normal. That was just how I normally get sick. Only I was little, so--" 

"So you didn't have the immunal fortitude to beat it back." Leonard finished for him, pulling Jim up. He wrapped one arm around Jim's shoulders, looking into the blue eyes that really hadn't changed one way or another. He kissed Jim full on the mouth, uncaring, for once, about the spectacle. He'd earned it; Jim'd earned it. It wasn't like Spock and Nyota had really hidden before he and Jim had beamed over to the Narada. 

"God, I missed you, Bones." Jim groaned, burying his face in Leonard's neck. 

"I missed you, too, darlin'. Security has 'im, and I'm taking you back to our quarters for now." 

Jim looked at Spock, and Vulcan nodded in understanding. Jim and Leonard wouldn't be called for a long while, not unless they were absolutely needed. Jim took Leonard's hand, starting for the doors, but startled, whipping back around to look at Spock. "No. No. We have something to do right now, and, Spock, you're officiating. Pavel, call Uhura down here. Scotty, you're my best man." 

"Chapel, too. She'll skin me if we don't call her down here for this." Leonard added, his heart pounding in his chest. 

"Gaila migh' have the same reaction, cap'n." 

"Don't care who you have to call, just..." Jim cast wild blue eyes around the room, at friends they both shared, "I want to be Leonard's husband, right now, for every second he'll have me." 

Sulu and Pavel were sneaking looks at each other, Pavel's eyes saying something Kirk's heart knew Sulu wanted to, but couldn't avoid. 

"C'mere, you two. Double wedding, why not?" Jim looked at Bones for a protest and got raised brows and a look of resignation. "You've had, what? Three years of engagement?" 

"Aye, sir." Pavel muttered, staring heartbreakingly at Sulu. 

"This takes out all the trouble with both our families...why the hell didn't either of us come up with it sooner?" Sulu murmured, a slow grin taking over his features. 

"Marry us, Mr. Spock, as disparagingly as only you can."


	7. A Fallen Star

Three hours into their new nuptuals, McCoy got a call from Medical, Nurse Chapel sounding so utterly regretful for having called him that he wondered for a moment if it was something as simple as a papercut. "Sir...I've just talked to Security...our prisoner is exhibiting the same symptoms Captain Kirk had..." 

Leonard drew a sharp breath, sitting up from under the tangle of limbs that was Jim Kirk, fully grown. 

Jim groaned in his sleep, stirring awake with every sign of unwillingness. Leonard leaned over him, kissing his lips softly, "Sleep, darlin'." 

"Mmm, not if you're leaving, Bones. What's going on?" Jim muttered and squeaked out, his eyes opening hazily. 

"It's nothing--"

"Then you don't need to be upright. You should be horizontal--you can't even walk, Bones!" Leonard growled under his breath, pulling on his uniform over love bites and aches that were bone-deep and so arousing he was going to be of little help anyway. 

"It's Kodos, Jim...He's got what you had." 

Jim frowned, his forehead wrinkling, "But...no one else has it..." 

"Everyone else has been in close proximity to you on this floating petri dish for years, we've all been exposed to it." Leonard shoved his feet into boots, twisting to see Jim getting out of bed. "No, go back to bed, you infant--" 

"I'm coming down with you to see him, Bones. I know you have to." Jim looked at him with unfathomable eyes, "I have a long list of names to read him, Bones. I'd best to get started." 

~

Kodos was dead before they could get back to Earth: three days of fever, vomiting, and discomfort that McCoy couldn't crack under a microscope, no matter how raggedly he worked himself. It made Jim feel proud that Leonard worked it so hard; proud that Leonard would see him brought up as he should have been, rather than seeing him simply dead. 

By the time they got back to Earth, it was more than excusable that they were allowed to take the week left until their leave as extra; a treat for the crew who brought to rest the massacre of Tarsus IV. 

The first day of what their leave would have been, Leonard woke up in bed alone, the ominous sounds of giggling pulling him from the paradise of his bed better than a cup of coffee. 

The house had been emptied before they got there; McCoy's mother in New York for a conference until the next week, so who Jim could possibly be giggling with was a little alarming to think about. 

"Jo?" Leonard called, and his daughter burst through the door, hair wild and eyes crazed as she ran into his arms hard enough for impact to nearly bowl him over. "Baby, what are you doin' here?" 

"You're gettin' married today, daddy...well, married again. To Jim. For the second time." Jo scowled as she pinched Leonard's side, still sore she hadn't so much as been commed. 

"You're maid of honour in the important one, peach!" Jim called. 

"The dress is pretty, I forgive 'im." Joanna shrugged, tossing it aside. 

"We're gettin' married today?" 

"Do your Southern some good and say 'hitched', Bones, c'mon...just once?" 

"I will hitch you to the back of my horse and road-haul you over the acreage." Leonard grumbled. 

"He's so sweet to me, peach." Jim muttered innocently, handing Bones a cup of coffee as he wrapped his arm around the girl next to him. "I was going to do the whole 'can't see the person you're marrying' thing, but I decided against it. You're just too cute in the mornings..." 

Leonard growled at him, and Jim smirked, sipping his own coffee. "I got to say hello to my daddies and tell you both that I love you, so now I'm going to go outside and take over control of the knights of the house of Enterprise." Joanna bopped forward, kissing Leonard on the cheek and wrapping her long, willowy arms around Jim. "You two are banished here, to your ivory tower, to get ready for your wedding ceremony at exactly four o'clock: I will help the knights bust in to drag your sorry asses out if you're not out there. Neither of you have any other responsibility but to get ready to look damn good. Jim, hush, you're not the only member of this family who's a genius." She waved them off like she was shooing them, leaving the bedroom with a flourish as she closed the double doors. 

Jim turned to Leonard, his eyes huge, "Sh-she said I was...She said I was one of her daddies..." 

"Jim, you're just realizing this--" 

"Kind of! This is...Bones, you've given me a family..." tears were welling in Jim's eyes, and his beam could set the Sun to shame, "this means so much to me. I have a princess now, Bones." 

"You've had a princess since that day, Jim." Leonard promised, voice deep and gruff, "You've had me since the damn shuttle."

They summarily took a step together, wrapping around each other like it was second nature. 

"Jim...I wanna have a baby with you, darlin'. I want a kid with your eyes to own my soul." Jim shivered, the tears falling over as he crushed them together in joy, his grip painfully tight. "'M gonna take this as a yes." 

"Yes! _Yes_! Of course, yes. A million times, yes!"

"J-Jim...Jim, we've got another two years left on our tour before we can do this." 

Jim nodded in wild-eyed agreement, "Yeah...I can still plan, though, Bones. An-and we're going to do this, just as soon as the tour's over and we can retire..." 

Leonard stared at him for a long time. "Retirement? Jim, can you retire?" 

"Of course, Bones--" 

"No, I mean... _Can you retire_? Can you really...leave such a huge part of you behind?" 

"Space was an awfully big adventure, Bones, and we've got another two and a half years to it. But, having a baby, that'll be the greatest adventure of them all." Jim looked into his eyes with hope and light shining in his, and Leonard impacted with Jim hard enough that they both tumbled onto the bed, "Whoa!" Laughing together, Jim and Bones stripped each other with a single-mindedness that had chills running down Jim's spine. "You do realize neither of us can currently--" 

"Shut up, Jim."

~

The whole world was gone. 

Everything was gone. 

There was no hope left; no safe haven of determined blue eyes and a set mouth. 

Ambassador Spock was still talking to him, but he'd already said the words that ended Leonard McCoy's life. 

He'd told him, "I am sorry, Leonard, my friend...but Jim will not return from this. Not alive." 

How could he still be talking? 

"He has not and will not suffer. It is of great importance to know this. The Nexus creates for each of us a paradise..." 

Leonard looked at the ruined lines of the elder Spock's face, his brows drawn together. "He's not dead..." Leonard choked. 

"No, but the actions he will take to ensure that a future threat that would use the Nexus claims his life--"

"He's not dead, and you're wasting my time telling me that he'll damn well be peaceful waiting for me to spring him out of there?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue...and a little extra to know what's coming next.


End file.
